Mar
25
Regression Years Later
March 25, 2008 |
I’ve been reading your potty training newsletter with great interest and think it contains a lot of wonderful information that can really help parents. I’ve got a problem and I’m not sure there is a good solution, other than take the “wait and see” approach and hope for the best. So would you let me know if I am handling the situation correctly and offer any advice you think might be helpful.
I’m a young mother with a 5 year old son, Elliot, who has been potty trained for almost three years. He’s is only child and I, not having any prior experience with potty training, was quite proud of how easily he made the transition. The problem is that about two weeks ago he started regressing backwards and was wetting and sometimes pooping in his underwear three to four times a day. He has always worn cloth diapers and plastic pants at night, but now the mess has become so bad that I have started diapering him throughout the day too. He kicks and screams when I remove them and try to take him to the potty, so much so that I am hesitant to even mention the word “potty”.
My mother said I am doing a terrible thing by putting a 5 year old back into diapers, and while I agree, I don’t see much choice if he doesn’t want to cooperate. A friend of mine, also a young mother, says it’s because he was potty trained too early. Is this even possible? Should I keep him in diapers a while longer and see if it’s just a phase he’s going through, or do I demand he sit on the potty and put up with the mess and dirty underwear? Is there anything you can suggest that might motivate him to start using the potty again? He’s such a sweet boy I don’t want to do anything that might interfere with his normal development.
Thanks for listening,
Carla
Hi Carla,
First of all, I’m sorry you and your son are going through this. I’m sure this came as quite a surprise to you after 2 years of being potty trained. I don’t think your son reverted back to going in his pants because he was potty trained to early. It is much more likely that he is going through some sort of traumatic experience right now and is expressing his helplessness with that situation by not using the potty anymore.
Think of anything that may have changed in your life recently … some things that can cause this behavior are moving, a parent or other person close to your child leaving, a new person in his life, a change at daycare or school.
Your main goal right now should be to find out what’s upsetting your child enough to case this behavior and help him through this situation. Once you get to that point, stop putting him in diapers and help remind him in a calm manner about going to the potty.
You can also slowly transition him towards cleaning himself up when he soils or wets himself. Offer your help, but make him do at least part of it.
The important thing is to remember that he is not doing this to spite you. Stay calm and positive and the two of you will get through this in no time.
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